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Vol. I, Issue 1 Veritas per Curiositatem Price: 1 Silver

Heroes of Waterdeep Join Strixhaven Faculty

The “Weenie Wizards” Bring Adventure, Intrigue, and Questions to Arcavios’ Most Prestigious University

Strixhaven welcomed five new guest lecturers yesterday as the renowned adventuring company known as the Weenie Wizards arrived on campus at the personal invitation of Dean Zelvorin Flutterspark.

The heroes — already famous for their exploits in Waterdeep — will each be teaching within one of the five colleges, sharing their unique experiences with the next generation of magical scholars.

Their arrival included a grand tour of the colleges, several spirited demonstrations (both academic and otherwise), and at least one incident that has the Groundskeeping staff filed a complaint.

When asked about the unconventional appointment, Dean Flutterspark responded:

“Qualified is such an unnecessarily limiting word.”
Leaf, Jesus Chroist, Sobek, Sploosh, and Z'thruk standing in a Strixhaven courtyard beneath the five college banners
The Weenie Wizards (left to right): Leaf, Jesus Chroist, Sobek, Sploosh, and Z’thruk arrive at Strixhaven to begin their new roles as guest lecturers.

Campus Poll

Quote of the Week

“If it’s not on fire,
is it really magic?”

— One of the Weenie Wizards
(anonymous source)

Willie’s
Complaint Corner

Willie the goblin groundskeeper, scowling
“Stop walkin’ on the fuckin’ grass.” — Willie, Groundskeeper

Faculty Watch

Rivals Keep a Close Eye

Several established faculty members are said to be “intrigued” by the new hires, while others are “deeply skeptical.” Will friendly competition lead to collaboration — or conflict? Only time will tell.

Sports

Mage Tower Season Heats Up

Tryouts begin next week. Rumors say at least one new professor is already being recruited. Can the Weenie Wizards bring home the trophy?

Classifieds

For Sale

Slightly cursed wand. Works 80% of the time. No refunds. — Serious inquiries only

Looking For

Study partner for advanced planar theory. Must enjoy late nights and existential dread.

Found

One (1) talking horse hair. If this is yours, please stop by the Dean’s Office. (It won’t stop neighing.)